Jan 21, 2026
Here we are—late January. The holiday lights are coming down, the party invites have stopped, and if you found yourself wrapped up in a cozy new relationship over the last few months, you might be feeling… a shift.
Cuffing season, that stretch from late fall through the holidays when the urge to pair up feels as strong as the urge to stay indoors, is officially wrapping up. And that’s exactly why I want to continue the talk I started earlier in the holiday season.
This is the moment of truth for relationships born in the seasonal whirlwind. The external pressures that brought you together—the festive parties, the need for a “plus one,” the cozy couple vibes—are fading. What’s left? That’s the real question.
It’s a topic close to my heart, and one I was thrilled to explore recently with Parade magazine, alongside insights from another clinician. In the article, I described cuffing season as “the romantic equivalent of putting on a cozy sweatshirt”—a time when people seek “warmth and a witness” during the emotionally-packed holidays. You can read our full conversation, including why people date during this time and what makes it unique, right here: “The 9 Characteristics of Cuffing Season Relationships, According to Therapists”.
But as we step into this new year, the focus turns from how these relationships start to how they continue. The glitter is settling, and what remains is the foundation you built—or perhaps, the one you now need to build.
As a therapist, I often see couples navigating this exact transition. The connection that felt so magical and destined in December is now facing the ordinary light of a January morning. That’s not a bad thing—it’s the necessary next chapter.
Whether you’re feeling solid, uncertain, or somewhere in between, recognizing the unique hallmarks of a cuffing-season start can help you understand your relationship’s origin story and intentionally write what comes next.
Here are the nine most common characteristics I’ve observed:
Everything felt accelerated. “I love yous,” future plans, and deep bonding happened on a compressed timeline. While thrilling, this pace often skips the gradual, day-by-day discovery that builds enduring trust. It’s like hitting fast-forward through the foundational episodes of a series.
There was a "Special Occasions Only" spark. Did your relationship thrive on event energy—the holiday party, the fancy dinner, the festive trip? Many cuffing-season couples do. One couple I spoke with realized they had little to talk about on a random Tuesday night. The magic was tied to the occasion, not yet woven into the fabric of daily life.
You likely know their best holiday stories and family traditions. But do you know their daily routines, their minor pet peeves, how they handle stress or boredom? True intimacy is built on knowing the unglamorous, essential grit of who someone is, not just their curated highlights.
There was an excessive amount of romantic idealism.Cuffing season often pairs with a “meant to be” narrative. This fairytale lens is beautiful, but it can blur your vision, making it easy to overlook practical compatibility issues or subtle red flags because they don’t fit the story of destined, seasonal love.
There were lots of grand gestures while dating. Extravagant gifts, over-the-top compliments, and constant future talk are common. It feels like a romance movie! But this can create a layer of artificial intimacy—the connection feels deep, but it’s being fueled by the gestures themselves, not yet by a solid, shared foundation.
Sometimes, one person enters the season ready to settle down. This can lead to hyper-focusing on big-picture, box-checking qualities (“good job, wants kids, nice family”) while unconsciously minimizing smaller doubts or personality mismatches that signal long-term fit.
Others enter with a casual, festive spirit—open to companionship without defined labels. This “situationship” can work seamlessly through New Year’s Eve, but often leads to confusion in January when expectations about the relationship’s future suddenly come due.
There were impulsive, sometimes “whirlwind decisions.” Did you make a big decision—planning a major trip, discussing moving in—that “just felt right” in the emotional rush? You were likely riding a wave of seasonal euphoria, making choices that might normally require more time and deliberation.
There’s often pressure to get deep quickly, sharing personal stories or traumas to forge instant emotional closeness. While vulnerability is crucial, without the safety net of slowly built trust, it can feel intense or even destabilizing.
So, now we are in January and it’s time for a reality check. We must ask ourselves, “Is This Good or Bad?”
Let’s settle this, as I mentioned in Parade: A cuffing-season start is neither inherently good nor bad. Love can find you anywhere. The problem isn’t when you meet, but the external, seasonal pressure to rush—and now that pressure is lifting.
This time of year isn’t a verdict; it’s an opportunity. It’s the chance to see if what you built was a beautiful seasonal shelter or the foundation of a lasting home.
My advice? Don’t panic if things feel different. It’s natural. Now, be intentional about building the quiet, steady part of your connection. As I like to say, a lasting relationship isn’t a wildfire; it’s a slow, steady burn.
It needs consistent fuel: the boring coffee dates, the casual walks, the low-key weekends. This is how you transform a seasonal spark into a sustainable flame.
If you see your relationship in these signs, use this knowledge not as a critique, but as a map. It shows you what might have been skipped. Now, go back and explore that terrain together. That’s how you’ll build something that doesn’t just survive the winter, but thrives through all the seasons to come.