We all want to feel special. That moment when someone tells you you’re amazing, that they’ve never felt this way before, or starts planning your future together—two weeks in—it can be thrilling. It feels like a rom-com. But what if that rush of affection isn’t love at all? What if it’s manipulation dressed up as magic?

As I stroked the stomach of a contented, free-roaming pig on an Iberian ham farm in Spain, I felt a strange mix of affection and unease. These animals were raised with extraordinary care—clean air, open pastures, even gentle handling by farmers who spoke of them with respect. Yet their ultimate purpose was clear: to become some of the world’s finest ham.

So many people are still talking about "Adolescence," the short Netflix series that opens with a shocking moment—police show up at Jamie Miller’s house and arrest him for the murder of a girl from his school, Katie Leonard. From the very start, you feel the panic, the disbelief, the unraveling of what seemed like a normal family life. What makes this show different is that it’s not just about whether Jamie did it . It’s about how a kid could even get to that point—and what happens to the people left behind.

Family means everything—no matter where you’re from. But the way we define family and the role it plays in our lives can look very different depending on the culture we grow up in. As someone raised both Filipina and American, I’ve experienced the beauty and complexity of living between two worlds.

So how did you end up here—hyper-responsible, always “on,” and unable to say no? The answer usually lives in those early lessons about love: that it had to be earned, that your worth came from what you could do for others, that taking care of yourself wasn’t a priority. And those lessons are stubborn. They stick around long after the original reasons for them are gone.

Have you ever bent over backwards for someone, hoping they’d finally appreciate you? Maybe you’ve felt like if you just do a little more – cook the perfect dinner, say yes to every request, smooth over every conflict – then you’ll earn the love and respect you crave. It’s an exhausting way to live.

When I think back on becoming a mom, it feels like a mix of pure happiness and really tough moments. Holding my newborn for the first time filled me with a kind of love I didn’t even know was possible. But along with all that joy came feelings I wasn’t ready for—anxiety, total exhaustion, and this nagging self-doubt that I couldn’t shake.