Picture this: A couple sits across from me in my office. She says he never listens. He says he’s always listening—she just doesn’t appreciate it. They’re both looking at me like I’m supposed to pick a side. Here’s the thing nobody wants to hear: they’re both right. I know that sounds like a cop-out, the kind of thing a therapist says when they don’t want to commit. But stick with me, because understanding this one idea might change how you see almost every conflict in your life.

You’ll probably see a lot of new haircuts, bold outfits, and fresh makeup looks around the first week of school. That’s usually not dramatic rebellion so much as practice — teens trying on versions of themselves to see what fits.

One of my favorite expressions is: “You can’t rush the timeline.” I say it so often that I have a pillow in my office with those words on it, a gift from my sister. It’s become more than a phrase I like. It’s a reminder I need, and one I often give to other people when they are desperate for answers before the answers are ready.

July brings fireworks, barbecues, and celebrations of independence. In our culture, independence is often seen as the ultimate goal. We’re taught to stand on our own two feet, solve our own problems, and not rely too heavily on anyone else. While independence is important, I’ve noticed something in both my personal life and my work as a therapist: sometimes independence can go too far.

Last week, I wrote about something I see all the time in therapy—and something many of us do with the best intentions. When someone we care about comes to us with a problem, we immediately jump into fixing it. We offer advice. We brainstorm solutions. We tell them what we would do. After all, if someone we love is hurting, of course we want to help. The problem is that sometimes people don’t need a solution right away. They need to feel heard.

Father’s Day is just around the corner—a time we often celebrate dads with barbecues, ties, and "World's Best Dad" mugs. But this year, I want to offer something different: a skill that can transform not just fatherhood, but every relationship a man treasures. That skill is listening.

May is a beautiful, complicated month. We celebrate mothers. We also honor Mental Health Awareness Month. And for many women—whether they're moms, stepmoms, grandmothers, foster moms, or caregivers who've never given birth—navigating personal needs while tending to everyone else can feel especially heavy this time of year.