Jun 18, 2025
We all want to feel special. That moment when someone tells you you’re amazing, that they’ve never felt this way before, or starts planning your future together—two weeks in—it can be thrilling. It feels like a rom-com. But what if that rush of affection isn’t love at all? What if it’s manipulation dressed up as magic?
That’s love bombing—and it’s more common than you might think.
As a therapist, I’ve seen how confusing and damaging this pattern can be, especially in communities that already face rejection or isolation. While love bombing happens to people of every gender and orientation, marginalized individuals—like those in the LGBTQIA+ community—can be especially vulnerable. Smaller dating pools, internalized shame, and a deep longing for safe connection can make red flags look like lifelines. But this isn’t about sexuality. It’s about human behavior, often linked to deeper issues like narcissistic or borderline personality traits. Anyone can be the bomber. Anyone can be the target.
So what is love bombing, really?
It’s when someone showers you with praise, gifts, constant messages, or grand promises early on—not out of genuine connection, but as a tactic. It’s a rush of attention that can feel amazing at first, but it’s often used to create dependency and fast-track intimacy before trust and stability are even on the table.
Think:
“You’re my soulmate” on the third date.
Nonstop texting from the second you leave each other.
Extravagant gifts you never asked for.
Promises of moving in or marriage before you’ve even met each other’s friends.
Guilt trips when you try to set boundaries or ask for space.
At first, it might feel flattering. After all, who doesn’t want to feel adored? But healthy love doesn’t need to sprint. Real love unfolds over time. It respects your pace, your boundaries, and your individuality. Love bombing doesn’t—it overwhelms, idealizes, and isolates.
And here’s the kicker: once you’re hooked, things often shift. The affection fades, control creeps in, and the same person who once called you “perfect” may start making you feel small, guilty, or unsure of yourself. The emotional whiplash can be devastating.
If any of this feels familiar, you’re not alone.
It’s okay to pause. It’s okay to ask questions. And it’s more than okay to slow things down.
Here’s what that might look like:
Say no to gifts or over-the-top gestures that feel too fast or too much.
Limit how often you see or talk to them while you sort out how you really feel.
Pay attention to how they respond to your boundaries. If they ignore, guilt-trip, or punish you for asserting your needs—that’s a red flag, not romance.
Relationships should make you feel safe, not anxious. Seen, not idolized. Respected, not rushed.
Love bombing doesn’t always look the same—gender and personality can shape how it shows up—but the impact is almost always the same: confusion, self-doubt, and emotional exhaustion.
If something in your relationship feels off but you’re not sure why, let’s talk. You deserve love that’s real—not a performance meant to reel you in. Together, we can unpack the difference.
You’re not too much for wanting connection. But you’re worth more than love that comes with strings attached.