Dec 31, 2025
As the final hours of the year tick down, it’s natural to feel a sense of urgency. We look back at what we didn’t accomplish, and forward at what we must achieve next. We set resolutions with a fervent hope that January 1st marks a definitive, clean start.
This year, I want to offer you a different kind of resolution. It’s a simple phrase that is so central to my work as a therapist that my sister had it etched on a pillow for me. It’s a constant, gentle reminder for my clients—and honestly, for myself:
“Don’t rush the timeline.”
This concept became crystal clear to me about a decade ago, while I was working with two different couples navigating the painful, messy process of divorce. It was obvious to me that both couples were still in love. Their story wasn't finished. But the hurt was so intense that their only solution was to sprint through the divorce, believing that finalizing the paperwork would magically stop the pain.
I urged them to slow down. I remember saying, "If you still have romantic feelings for each other, that pain isn't going to disappear with a judge's signature."
But the hurt was too raw, and they moved forward. One client even shared that her partner begged her to stop on the courthouse steps. The divorces were finalized.
What happened next was telling. They started dating each other again, but the trust was broken. There was a hesitation that hadn't been there before. They’d see other people, yet constantly compare them to their ex. It took years of this back-and-forth before they finally, fully let each other go.
I can't say for certain that slowing down would have saved their marriages. But I know they were mistaken in thinking that rushing would lessen their heartache. In their race to escape the discomfort, they missed a crucial opportunity to grow. That painful period was a chapter they were meant to navigate, not skip. The growth happened, but it happened apart.
So what does this mean for you in the new year? It’s easy to treat your life like those couples treated their divorce. You might be desperate to:
Rush past the grief of a lost job or relationship.
Skip the struggle of building a new healthy habit.
Fast-forward through the uncertainty of a career change.
Declare yourself "over it" before you've truly processed the year's disappointments.
“Don’t rush the timeline” is your antidote to this pressure.
The turn of the calendar is a moment in time, not an eraser for your emotional journey. The profound healing and the most important answers are often found not in rushing to a mythical finish line, but in moving thoughtfully through the middle.
So, as you step into 2026, carry this mantra with you.
Let your New Year's intention be one of compassionate pacing.
When you feel the urge to sprint, take a breath. When you’re desperate for a quick exit from a hard feeling, pause. Remind yourself that as long as you are learning something about yourself, you are exactly where you are supposed to be.
This year, don't rush your healing. Don't rush your success. Don't rush your story.
Go easy on yourself. The timeline is yours, and yours alone.