Sep 11, 2024
As someone who loves connecting with others, the idea of dining alone can feel daunting. However, I’ve come to appreciate the value of solitude, particularly after a conversation with my son. One day, I asked him what he does during his lunch hour at work. His response surprised me. Sometimes he works through lunch or eats at his desk, but what really caught my attention was when he said, “I sometimes go out to eat by myself.”
He described how he takes his phone and finds a cozy spot at the bar or a small table to enjoy his meal alone. He even looks forward to it. “I like the small talk with strangers,” he shared, “and sometimes it’s nice to just get lost in my video game.” While waiting for his sushi, he practices Japanese phrases, chatting with the staff and trying to order in the language. I was struck by his confidence; it takes bravery to sit alone in a crowded space, yet he relishes the experience.
This conversation led me to reflect on the benefits of dining solo—something I believe everyone should try, especially my clients who often fear losing friends or being disappointed in social situations. Dining alone can be liberating. It teaches you that even if a relationship or friendship doesn’t last, you can still find joy in your own company.
Dining alone, or doing any activity alone, offers a valuable opportunity to recharge. In our fast-paced lives, carving out time for ourselves is essential. After a busy day with clients, I genuinely look forward to those quiet moments. While I cherish hearing their stories, reflecting on my own thoughts helps me regain balance. Those 15 to 20 minutes I spend alone before heading home are precious; they allow me to step back from the chaos and enjoy some much-needed tranquility. My son’s lunch hour embodies this perfectly—it’s his chance to disconnect from work and reconnect with himself.
Spending time alone also fosters self-trust and encourages you to form your own ideas and opinions without external influence. I’ve seen this in my children as well. They’ve occasionally traveled solo, navigating new places and meeting strangers along the way. While they may not always have prior connections, these experiences require confidence and self-awareness. Observing them, I realize that these moments help them appreciate their surroundings and recognize that their value isn’t dependent on being with others. Engaging with strangers and exploring new environments builds self-efficacy and social awareness.
Solitude nurtures emotional intelligence. Taking time to reflect on your experiences enhances your awareness of your emotions and how they impact your interactions. This self-awareness lays the groundwork for stronger relationships, both with yourself and others.
Finally, dining alone can deepen your appreciation for those around you. As my son pointed out, enjoying your own company can make you more grateful for the people in your life. Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder.
So, I encourage you to try dining alone at least a couple of times. It’s not just about having a meal; it’s an opportunity for self-discovery. Whether you bring a book, soak in the ambiance, or strike up a conversation with a stranger, dining alone can be a delightful experience. If you feel apprehensive or nervous, lean into that fear—it’s completely normal. Once you work through those feelings, you may discover that you can rely on yourself to find joy, even in moments of solitude.