Jan 28, 2026
Recently, I had the chance to talk with reporter, Liz Regalia of Parents.com about something that comes up a lot in my work: teens, bikini waxing, and the whirlwind of messages they get about their bodies. It’s a topic that, let’s be honest, can feel awkward for everyone involved. But it also sits at a really important intersection of hygiene, cultural pressure, and our kids’ emotional well-being.
To prepare, I did what I often do—I brought the questions home. I talked it over with my 22-year-old daughter and she put it perfectly: “It’s all just about personal preferences, so I think it can kind of be tricky for parents who are also looking on social media and trying to teach their kids hygiene versus what their kid likes on their body.”
That right there is the tightrope we’re walking. My goal in the interview, and in sharing this with you now, is to blend body-positive principles with practical advice to help you guide your kids with both confidence and care.
It’s a confusing minefield of messages. What are our kids actually seeing on social media? If you feel like the “standard” for body hair has changed, you’re right. In recent years, social media and fashion imagery have increasingly presented a very groomed, often hair-free pubic area as the default. It’s often framed as a matter of cleanliness or attractiveness. But there’s a growing counter-message. More influencers are demonstrating the push for choice. Think of the positive visibility of armpit hair on some influencers. The overall signal to our kids is mixed and conflicting, leaving them to figure out what’s “normal” on their own.
Parents need to be in the know. This isn’t just about hair; it’s about pressure. When a natural part of development is implied to be “unclean,” it can seed shame. These messages feed directly into the appearance-based anxieties that chip away at self-esteem. Being aware of these messages allows us, as parents, to do the crucial work my daughter mentioned: separating the facts of hygiene from the fiction of social pressure. We can frame conversations around health and personal autonomy, not conformity.
This conversation is best started early in puberty, around ages 9-13. The goal isn’t to dictate a choice, but to educate about hygiene, present options, and emphasize that this is their body and their choice.
A simple, calm script can help:
“As your body changes, you’ll notice new hair growing. That’s a healthy, normal part of growing up. Keeping the area clean is what matters most. Some people choose to leave it alone, others trim or remove hair for comfort or style—it’s a personal decision. I’m here to talk about what feels good to you, and to make sure you have safe information.”
Your teen may bring it up (or won’t). Reactions will vary. Some teens will ask you openly. Others, depending on your family’s openness, will turn to friends or the internet, where information isn’t always safe or accurate. Some might experiment secretly, which can lead to skin irritation or infection. Their approach often mirrors how they’re handling broader body image pressures.
What if your teen asks for a wax? First, acknowledge their courage in asking! Stay curious: “Thanks for coming to me. What’s making you consider this?” Listen without judgment. If you’re open to it, discuss finding a safe, professional studio. If you’re not comfortable, explain your reasons calmly and offer alternatives (like safe at-home kits if age-appropriate). Use this moment to reinforce that grooming is a preference, not a prerequisite for self-worth or hygiene.
Surprise! Sometimes our teens go in secret. In this case, avoid shaming at all costs. Lead with concern: “I noticed you got a wax. I care about your safety and wanted to make sure you’re okay.” This opens the door to discuss why professional safety matters (sanitation, proper technique) and builds trust for future conversations. The goal is connection, not correction.
My Top Tips for Parents:
Normalize Natural Bodies: Consciously highlight that body hair is normal, healthy, and not dirty.
Model Body Acceptance: They are listening. How you talk about your own body teaches them how to talk about theirs.
Differentiate Hygiene from Preference: This is the golden rule. Cleanliness is about washing with soap and water. Hair removal is purely about personal choice. As my daughter wisely concluded, the goal is to “show them what is hygienic, your own personal preference, but encourage them to figure out what works for them, while still keeping clean.”
Keep the Dialogue Open: This isn’t a one-and-done talk. Revisit the topic as they grow, as new trends emerge, or as they have more questions.
Ultimately, this is about helping our kids navigate a world full of conflicting messages. By grounding our conversations in body positivity, safety, and respect for personal choice, we help them make decisions from a place of self-care, not shame.
As I shared with Parents, the most important thing we can do is our best to accept our kids for their preferences. It’s in that acceptance that true confidence grows.
(This article was inspired by my recent interview with Parents.com. For more on building a foundation of body positivity at home, you can read my earlier guide Raising Confident Kids: A Parents’ Guide to Body Positivity.)