Apr 1, 2026
A few weeks ago I attended a conference on dreams. The approach was Jungian. It shifted how I understand trauma.
In EMDR therapy we talk about negative cognitions. These are beliefs your psyche forms after pain or trauma. They almost always fall into one of two categories.
I don't matter.
I am not good enough.
These beliefs become background noise. They run beneath people pleasing. They run beneath perfectionism. They run beneath withdrawal and self sabotage. Trauma did not just hurt you. It taught you a lie about who you are.
I have been thinking about this as I prepare to enter Death Valley, as right now, I am on a hiking trip in California. On the surface, the desert looks empty. No water. No shade. Cracked earth to the horizon. It is easy to believe nothing grows there.
But beneath the surface, the seeds wait. Some seeds lie dormant for decades. Not dead. Not gone. Just waiting for the rain.
This is what trauma does. It drives the truth of who you are underground. You wait. Sometimes for years. You wait for conditions that allow you to emerge.
Here is what the conference taught me: Your unconscious is on your side. It is your ally.
Carl Jung believed the unconscious works toward your wholeness. He called this individuation. It is the process of becoming your most authentic self. Dreams are direct messages from the unconscious to your waking mind. They use symbols because that is the language of emotion.
If your unconscious is your ally then your nightmares are not your enemy. They are your ally screaming to be heard.
One insight from the conference changed how I see every dream. In our dreams we are all the people and things. Not just ourselves. If you dream you are being chased, you are both the person running and the thing chasing you. Every character represents a part of you.
This changes the question you ask. Instead of asking, “Who is chasing me?” you ask, “What part of me is chasing what other part of me?”. Both sides belong to you. Both sides are trying to tell you something.
Consider the two lies trauma teaches through this lens.
If you believe, “I don't matter,” your unconscious might send a dream where you are invisible while others are seen. You are the invisible one. You are also the ones being seen. One part of you feels erased. Another part of you holds visibility. The dream is showing you both sides. The work is to bring them together.
If you believe, “I am not good enough,” your unconscious might send a dream where you fail publicly. You are the one failing. You are also the audience watching. One part of you feels exposed. Another part holds judgment. The dream is not confirming the lie. It is showing you the split. Your ally wants you to see that both sides exist in you.
Jung would say these dreams are your Self trying to correct the one sided story your conscious mind adopted. The Self is the total personality. It includes everything you show the world and everything you hide. It wants you whole.
I have been keeping a dream journal for several weeks now. I meet with a friend (also a therapist) to talk about possible meanings. The process has helped me feel better. It has helped me understand issues I have been dealing with.
What surprises me is how often I already have the answer. When I take time to write the dream down and sit with it, the meaning starts to reveal itself. I feel empowered. I feel enlightened. I am touching base with myself.
This is how I approach therapy. You already have the answers. My role is to witness your growth. I help push things along at times. I ask questions. I offer what I have learned. But I never tell you which direction to grow. That decision is yours.
I expect Death Valley to look one way when I arrive. Cracked earth. Heat. Barren ground. I expect to hike and find something else. Flowers pushing up through soil that looks impossible. Seeds that waited years for the rain.
The flowers did not need someone to tell them how to bloom. They had what they needed the whole time. They waited for the conditions. Then they figured it out.
You are the same. You have what you need. The answers are already inside you. Sometimes you just need someone to sit with you while you listen.