Jan 7, 2026
Hey there, and welcome to a new year—that time when we all think about starting fresh. If therapy is on your mind—whether you're curious from hearing about EMDR on a podcast, intrigued by ketamine therapy in the headlines, or just thinking it might be time—I wanted to have a chat.
Maybe you've read my earlier articles on when to see a therapist or how to choose one. This is the next piece of the puzzle: what happens after you take that brave step and book that first session. Think of this as a friendly guide from the other side of the room, meant to help you get the absolute most out of the work you've already begun. Because when we're on the same page, the really good, deep stuff can happen.
Let's clear this up first: the therapy relationship is unique. It's supposed to be.
You might think: "Why can't we be friends? Why can't I text you?"
Here's the heart of it: Those boundaries aren't about keeping you out; they're about holding everything for you. This is the dedicated space—the 50 minutes that is completely, 100% yours. It’s the safety that lets you truly open up. (This is why, when “swiping right” for a therapist, you’re looking for a professional fit—someone whose expertise and framework you trust, not a new buddy.)
We're guides, not gurus.
I wish I had a magic wand to give you instant answers. But my real job is better: to be your guide while you build the understanding and tools you need.
Instead of: "Just tell me what to do!" or "Is this wrong?"
Try: "I'm stuck. Can we look at this from a different angle?" A diagnosis can be a useful map, but it's not the destination. The goal is to help you learn to navigate your own inner world. This is where that "good fit" you looked for becomes crucial—you need someone whose approach (CBT, psychodynamic, etc.) feels like a language you can learn together.
A timing tip: If you spend most of a session telling a story and want the "aha!" moment in the last five minutes, it's like saving the big question until I'm walking you out the door. If something's really burning, lead with it! We can unpack the details together.
Therapy isn't a passive thing. The magic happens when we're both engaged.
If you're an individual, saying "I don't know why I'm here" is a fantastic place to start! (And a completely valid reason to begin therapy, as we've talked about). Let's get curious about that together. And please, if you start feeling better, let's talk about it before stopping meds or sessions. That progress is a sign the work is paying off—let's make a plan to protect it.
For parents & couples: If you're bringing in your child or your partner, please come in too. Lasting change happens when the whole system is in the room. Therapy works best when everyone is rolling up their sleeves, not when someone is labeled "the problem" and dropped off.
This is the part I really want you to know. These boundaries? They're not just for you. They're for us, too.Therapy is a profoundly connective profession. We care deeply. That's why the frame—the start and end times, the professional space—is so vital. It allows me to be fully emotionally available to every person I see, and to return to my own life recharged. It's how I protect my ability to show up for you, week after week, with my full attention and heart. The boundaries aren't walls; they're what make the deep, sustainable connection possible.
A note on investment: Comparing therapy to a luxury retreat is like comparing a lifelong gym membership to a single spa day. One is an immersive experience; the other is about building lasting strength in your inner world. It's an investment in the most important project you'll ever work on: you.
Finally, and I mean this: we are not here to judge you.
Seriously. I am not the morality police. My office is a judgment-free zone. You never have to wonder "How should I feel?" Your feelings are just information—data points we can explore together without shame. My job is to help you understand that data so you can make choices that feel right for you.
If you read any of this and thought, "Oops, I've done that," please don't sweat it. We've all been there! These aren't mistakes; they're just moments of not knowing the "how-to" of therapy. The coolest part? Bringing these exact thoughts into your session can create some of the most meaningful breakthroughs.
So whether you're just starting to wonder if you should go, are in the midst of looking for the right person, or are sitting in a therapist's office right now—this is your reminder that the process itself is a skill. And you're learning it.
Here's to a year of growth, understanding, and really great therapy.