
Jan 29, 2025
Growing up, I often felt like I was navigating two worlds—my American environment and the rich cultural heritage of my Filipino roots. This duality created a quiet tension, a sense of disconnect that lingered beneath the surface. However, everything changed when my family and I embarked on a three-week journey back to the Philippines—a trip that transformed into a profound homecoming.
In a community where people looked like me and shared my cultural references, I finally felt the safety and belonging I had long yearned for. As we drove the streets leading back to the hospital where I was born, reconnected with distant relatives, and immersed myself in the rhythms of my ancestral homeland, I deepened my understanding of who I am. It was a true homecoming, where the overlooked pieces of my identity began to fall into place, reminding me that our roots are not just a part of our past but a vital foundation for our future.
This journey was equally transformative for my daughter, who shared with me, “I’ve never felt so connected to a place before.” It was her first experience of seeing herself reflected not only in the faces around her but also in the culture and traditions that formed the backdrop of our family’s story. Surrounded by those who shared her heritage, she found a sense of rootedness that resonated deeply within her. It was a moment of clarity, where the richness of our culture unfolded before her, offering a new appreciation for her identity.
Reflecting on this journey, I also think of my son, who was moved to express a desire to also connect with his father’s side—Poland, Russia, and Israel. His yearning to understand these roots mirrors my own experiences of seeking connection and belonging. This desire to connect with our diverse heritages is a testament to the transformative power of understanding where we come from.
I’ve come to appreciate the profound significance of returning to the lands of our ancestors, whether they are our birthplace or the places where our parents grew up. Visiting my mother’s hometown, the very place where she met my father, provided me with a deeper insight into her life. Watching her reconnect with cousins and old high school friends revealed layers of her identity that I had never fully understood. One of the most poignant moments came during our difficult time at the Manila airport, struggling with our luggage and navigating an inefficient security system. I couldn’t help but picture my mother facing the same challenges 53 years ago, managing a young toddler and a baby in her arms, all by herself, as she prepared to immigrate to the U.S. while my father had gone ahead to secure a job and housing. These emotional journeys offer clarity and healing, allowing us to confront the cultural foundations that shaped us, explore the stories passed down through generations, and connect with the communities that preserve these narratives.
For anyone feeling disconnected from their roots, I highly recommend taking that journey back. Visiting places like your father’s school or your mother’s childhood home hits you in a deeply personal way, evoking memories and emotions that help unveil the deeper layers of your identity. Standing in those familiar spaces, you gain insight into the experiences that shaped your family and, in turn, yourself. These moments reveal why certain values, traditions, or customs resonate so profoundly. It’s not just an external journey; it’s an internal one—a chance to reconcile with parts of yourself that may have been buried or overlooked.
As I reflect on the emotional toll of “otherness” and the healing journey of reconnecting with one’s roots, I recognize that belonging isn’t something that happens by accident. It’s an endeavor we must actively pursue, both for ourselves and for others. The fight for inclusion—within our families, communities, and society at large—remains a vital part of our collective journey.
By embracing our differences and learning from one another, we can create environments where everyone feels genuinely recognized and appreciated—not for conforming to a standard, but for the beauty of our individuality. Returning to my ancestral homeland has made the journey toward belonging not only personal but also social.
In reflecting on Martin Luther King Jr.’s vision of equality and inclusion, I recognize the importance of embracing our diverse backgrounds. By confronting the challenges of “otherness” and creating spaces for cultural reconnection, we can foster a society where everyone feels valued. Ultimately, understanding our roots enriches our own lives and helps cultivate a sense of connection that resonates across generations.